Yesterday was Father's Day. And, to follow suit, I have decided to post today-after the big events. I cannot claim that there were no tears yesterday, because I would be lying. Mostly just misty. Truth is, there are very few special occasions on my calendar that do not involve tears. Even drinks with my girlfriends can oftentimes lead to tears, usually laughter tears-the best kind.
Let me just preface this with: My husband absolutely hates SMA (social media affection). His stance, and I cannot say I disagree completely, is that if you truly love someone, or you are truly thankful for them, or truly happy to have spent another year of your life with them, tell them yourself, in person.
Although publicly acknowledging someone you love or appreciate does not bother or annoy me, Zach flat out cannot stand it. Ha! So, to try and avoid publicly acknowledging him too much, I will try to keep this brief.
My husband and dad truly are remarkable men in every way. Thank you so very much to my Grammy Bonnie and my mother-in-law for bringing them into this world and shaping them into such incredible fathers. I cannot imagine a single second of my life without them in it. I am completely and utterly wrapped around their fingers.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Friday, June 6, 2014
Lucky Seven
I decided to hold off on writing this post until the day after the big seven for several reasons. For one, I thought of it yesterday and then became completely distracted and forgot. Two, birthdays are emotional at my house, and three, I just needed a minute to catch my breath after the week we have had!
When I say birthdays are emotional at my house, I fear it is a pretty big understatement. Usually it all starts with Zach saying something terribly heart wrenching such as "look how big she looks" or "did you notice how well she read that sentence, " or "she is halfway to fourteen." Ok, he didn't say the last one, but my dad did mention at lunch that 9 is the hardest age because that is when your time with them is half way up. I immediately asked him to leave and said we could never have lunch on my daughters birthday ever again. And I said a quick thanks to God that she is not 9. I mean Jesus-your time is half way up. Could those words be any harder to digest?
How my sweet little Bo Bear is seven is absolutely unfathomable to me. I mean SEVEN? I rarely use all caps-I am an italics girl, but SEVEN really deserves to be screamed. I mean 6 I could handle, 4 was a god sent because we were no longer 3 (which for those of you with 3 year olds, you know exactly what I am referring to)! 2 was tough because she was officially no longer a baby-she was a walking, talking, big girl pottying, toddler. 5 was absolutely miserable because it meant she was starting kindergarten-which is a story for an entirely separate post. SEVEN, well, it is just impossible and unbelievable. Flat out-it just came too fast! Six was a total blur. I thought she was still 5. I was still digesting 5. I was still digesting kindergarten. And now she is about to start second grade! Second grade!
So, a few words to my vivacious, smarty pants, independent SEVEN year old:
Addison,
Yesterday, you turned seven. In the grand scheme of things, this may seem like a blip. A small number and a simple age that quite plainly just followed six. Well, let me tell you-it is a lot more than that to mom and probably dad too. It signifies that for seven whole years you have been in our lives. Every single second for the last seven years you have been a part of me. You have been pulling on my heart strings and destroying my patience for nearly 2600 days (you asked how many days old you were last night when I was tucking you in and I almost had a come apart). I didn't know what life was before you baby girl. I didn't know that I could ever ever love someone so much. I didn't realize what was coming the day you came into my life. As the doctor held up your sweet little scrunchy face and balled up body (as if you were still snug inside my tummy) all I could think was holy shit how am I going to do this? Terror proceeded. Pure terror.
I wasn't a young mom-but I was the youngest among all my friends, and admittedly I wasn't quite emotionally ready to take on motherhood. I don't really know that any woman is-regardless of age. I fumbled through so very much of your early days. I read to you. I rocked you. I changed your impossibly smelly diapers. I snuggled you tightly and prayed I'd never have to let go. I laughed and cried and cried some more. I watched you get bigger and smarter and I (as much as I hate to admit) rushed to the next stages of your life. I couldn't wait to see you sit up all by yourself. I wanted so badly to hear you speak your first words (which was not ma-ma, ma-ma was seventh). I begged for the days when I wouldn't have to change diapers anymore. And then, just like that, all of that was gone. I wished it all away so quickly. Now, I spend every day wishing you would slow down. Stop growing and stop changing. I so desperately want to go back to that day in the hospital when you first came into our lives. I want to do it all over again. You will one day come to understand that there are very few things in life that are that way. Almost every experience you have will shape you, but of those, you will wish to repeat very few. You will take from them what they have given and take a step into something new. Motherhood isn't quite like that.
Being your mom has been the hardest, most trying thing in my life. We often argue. We often yell at one another and we often often forget how special and important our relationship is. You are my only daughter and my first born, and that is something that just cannot be replicated, cannot be replaced or shaken. You taught me how to be a mom. Your mom. I have wanted you in my life for as long as I can remember. Although I wish I could go back to your earlier years at times, I am so very happy in the moments we have now. You make me laugh all the time with your witty comments. You amaze me every day. I love spending time with you-sometimes feeling like I have the very best seven year old friend anyone could ask for. I love your smile (the real one) and your laugh. Your dad and I are so proud of how intelligent you are-how you dissect every situation and how you are always seeking more knowledge. I love the affect you have on the people around you. It made me so proud to receive all the birthday calls and well wishes for you yesterday. You truly are loved by so many!
So today, the less emotional day after your seventh birthday, I wish for you a year filled with days that pass just a little bit slower. I pray that you continue to grow and learn and love, and I look forward to the day when we celebrate 8 ,10, 11 (nine is officially dead to me) and so on-but please please not too soon!
I love you Bo Bear! Happy Birthday!
Mom
When I say birthdays are emotional at my house, I fear it is a pretty big understatement. Usually it all starts with Zach saying something terribly heart wrenching such as "look how big she looks" or "did you notice how well she read that sentence, " or "she is halfway to fourteen." Ok, he didn't say the last one, but my dad did mention at lunch that 9 is the hardest age because that is when your time with them is half way up. I immediately asked him to leave and said we could never have lunch on my daughters birthday ever again. And I said a quick thanks to God that she is not 9. I mean Jesus-your time is half way up. Could those words be any harder to digest?
How my sweet little Bo Bear is seven is absolutely unfathomable to me. I mean SEVEN? I rarely use all caps-I am an italics girl, but SEVEN really deserves to be screamed. I mean 6 I could handle, 4 was a god sent because we were no longer 3 (which for those of you with 3 year olds, you know exactly what I am referring to)! 2 was tough because she was officially no longer a baby-she was a walking, talking, big girl pottying, toddler. 5 was absolutely miserable because it meant she was starting kindergarten-which is a story for an entirely separate post. SEVEN, well, it is just impossible and unbelievable. Flat out-it just came too fast! Six was a total blur. I thought she was still 5. I was still digesting 5. I was still digesting kindergarten. And now she is about to start second grade! Second grade!
So, a few words to my vivacious, smarty pants, independent SEVEN year old:
Addison,
Yesterday, you turned seven. In the grand scheme of things, this may seem like a blip. A small number and a simple age that quite plainly just followed six. Well, let me tell you-it is a lot more than that to mom and probably dad too. It signifies that for seven whole years you have been in our lives. Every single second for the last seven years you have been a part of me. You have been pulling on my heart strings and destroying my patience for nearly 2600 days (you asked how many days old you were last night when I was tucking you in and I almost had a come apart). I didn't know what life was before you baby girl. I didn't know that I could ever ever love someone so much. I didn't realize what was coming the day you came into my life. As the doctor held up your sweet little scrunchy face and balled up body (as if you were still snug inside my tummy) all I could think was holy shit how am I going to do this? Terror proceeded. Pure terror.
I wasn't a young mom-but I was the youngest among all my friends, and admittedly I wasn't quite emotionally ready to take on motherhood. I don't really know that any woman is-regardless of age. I fumbled through so very much of your early days. I read to you. I rocked you. I changed your impossibly smelly diapers. I snuggled you tightly and prayed I'd never have to let go. I laughed and cried and cried some more. I watched you get bigger and smarter and I (as much as I hate to admit) rushed to the next stages of your life. I couldn't wait to see you sit up all by yourself. I wanted so badly to hear you speak your first words (which was not ma-ma, ma-ma was seventh). I begged for the days when I wouldn't have to change diapers anymore. And then, just like that, all of that was gone. I wished it all away so quickly. Now, I spend every day wishing you would slow down. Stop growing and stop changing. I so desperately want to go back to that day in the hospital when you first came into our lives. I want to do it all over again. You will one day come to understand that there are very few things in life that are that way. Almost every experience you have will shape you, but of those, you will wish to repeat very few. You will take from them what they have given and take a step into something new. Motherhood isn't quite like that.
Being your mom has been the hardest, most trying thing in my life. We often argue. We often yell at one another and we often often forget how special and important our relationship is. You are my only daughter and my first born, and that is something that just cannot be replicated, cannot be replaced or shaken. You taught me how to be a mom. Your mom. I have wanted you in my life for as long as I can remember. Although I wish I could go back to your earlier years at times, I am so very happy in the moments we have now. You make me laugh all the time with your witty comments. You amaze me every day. I love spending time with you-sometimes feeling like I have the very best seven year old friend anyone could ask for. I love your smile (the real one) and your laugh. Your dad and I are so proud of how intelligent you are-how you dissect every situation and how you are always seeking more knowledge. I love the affect you have on the people around you. It made me so proud to receive all the birthday calls and well wishes for you yesterday. You truly are loved by so many!
So today, the less emotional day after your seventh birthday, I wish for you a year filled with days that pass just a little bit slower. I pray that you continue to grow and learn and love, and I look forward to the day when we celebrate 8 ,10, 11 (nine is officially dead to me) and so on-but please please not too soon!
I love you Bo Bear! Happy Birthday!
Mom
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)