30 Things

I just read this article. I don’t really know why. It was there, and I was curious what 13 things every woman will have learned by the magical age of 26. I am not quite certain when I learned all thirteen of these things, but I can tell you there are several I have never learned, several that I learned when I was around three years old, and a couple that were just downright ridiculous. All judgment aside, I decided that since I am 30 now, yeah-I said it, there are about 30(ish) things I have learned slash recommend to those of you that will someday be 30. None of which involve stretch denim.

Number one-I have learned that life is too damn short. This does not mean YOLO. This does not mean "follow your heart." Those ideas are scary to their very core. Terrifying even. DO NOT LIVE ANY SECOND OF YOUR LIFE WITH THESE NOTIONS! Sorry for yelling at you. Yes, you only live once (I think-although I can't be certain) and yes, your heart oftentimes will push its nosy ass into your business, but air on the edge of caution. You will make countless mistakes before you turn thirty and believing in either of those sayings wholeheartedly will lead you to lots, lots more.

2. Be nice to people.

3. Take your education and your intelligence seriously. Make goals and meet them. Break them. Either way, have real life aspirations, career goals and limitations. Know yourself. Know what you are capable of, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Most importantly, don’t let anyone do it for you. Do it for yourself. (I think that was 4, 5 and 6)

#7 Try new things. Try things you don’t want to try. Try things you always wanted to try. Make a bucket list (that is #8) and check things off-life is too damn short.

9. Travel.

10. Ride with the windows down when the sun is shining and the weather is absolutely perfect. This will change your day immediately if you let it.

11. Work late, if for nothing else than to sit in a quiet empty office knowing that every person in all the vacant cubes around you is at home with their families. Somehow this will make you happy and appreciative all at once. It will also make you go home.

12. Be the nicest person you know. See #2.

13. Be honest with yourself. If you hate something, get rid of it. If you need to get in the gym-get there. If you must have a doughnut, have it.

14. Smile too much.

15. Cry a lot. It is seriously good for the soul.

16. Write.

17. Tell your kids your story. Often.

18. Make memories that you will both forget and remember tomorrow.

19. Have kids. More than one. Yeah, yeah- I know Jen-this is not for everyone and I get that. So I will change it to...have something to care for. Something that means more to you than you do. Something or someone that rocks your world every day and challenges you to be better than you are.

20. Be best friends with your sisters. Tell them to have kids even when you know they don't think that it's for them. You are allowed to do that. Because you are best friends and best friends forgive each other for butting in. They also know all your secrets.

21. Spend more time with your girlfriends. You don't see them enough once you have kids.

22. Watch at least one sunset a year, on the beach.

23. Try to see things from the opposing side. Whether it be politics, religion, your neighbor’s decision to plant ivy up the left side of their house. Whatever. You never know what you may learn. Or, it may make your viewpoint even stronger. Or-gasp! it may even make you change your mind.

24. I was 24 once. Tear.

Moment of silence...

25. Use your fine china. Why the hell did you register for $100 + place settings to let them gather dust? Eat delivery pizza on them for all I care. Use the gravy boat for ranch dressing. No one is allowed to judge you when you have fabulous dinnerware. No one.

26. Give. It will make your heart grow three times its size.

27. Send a card in the mail for no reason at all. And (28) write long letters of appreciation to your mom on mother’s day.

29. Re-kindle an old friendship. This does not mean drunk dial a college best friend bridesmaid that did you wrong by not showing up to your wedding and leaving you with an asymmetrical bridal party. Be bold- send her an email instead. Tell her you miss her. Hope she reads this.

30. Be excited to be/turn thirty. Because, you know, so many women say they were the best years of their life. Everyone who says that is in their forties. Kinda like everyone in their thirties say their twenties were the best years of their lives.

And, 31, because I am thirty now and I can break the rules, Slow dance in the kitchen.