Over dinner with my best friend, we got onto the topic of being a mom (among so many other topics-I don't know how we ever stay on track). She is not a mom. I am a mom of 2. How we, moms that is, get on the topic of being moms even with friends that are not moms is a bit depressing. We should be talking about recipes, shopping, traveling, dating, or shoes, or shoes...or anything but being a mom in the moment when we don't have to be. Either way-we were talking about it. I was basically telling her that being a mom leaves you with a multitude of questions and decisions that are nearly impossible to answer or decide upon. So here is my list (because bloggers love lists, right?). I will preface this list with the reminder that I do not have it all figured out. I have never claimed to. I, in fact, know that I never will.
1. Vaccines-holy moly Lord Almighty help me now. To immunize or not to immunize. That is the question. Have I mentioned that in my lifetime (mere 29 years-yes I said mere) I have never heard of, met, or been in the presence of a Polio or Rubella patient. Not one. Not ever. (Please don't fact check me here, this is a rant people). However, we continue month after month, to shoot our kids with vaccines that their usually obnoxious pediatricians suggest we get-slash if you don't you'll need to look for a new doctor. I was recently at the doctor with Lucas for an ear infection when all the sudden the nurse strides in with a tray full of shots. Um...."What are those for?" "Says here Lucas is 13 months old and he has not had his 12 month vaccines." This is when the fight started. I no longer attend that pediatrician. Not because I smothered that nurse with the stuffed bear in the corner, but because I wanted to (after she gave him the shots-I don't like confrontation and I cave easily-another not so perfect mom trait).
2. Organic. JESUS! Another thing we have to consider. Daily. And not without scrutiny from both sides. Do you feed your child whole, natural ingredients? Do you make your own baby food? Do you milk a damn goat in your sunroom in suburbia for some fresh off the teet goats milk? Um...no! I give my kid broken up french fries and Mexican rice if that is what I am eating...and I buy organic Gerber baby food if it is on sale at Publix-does that count? Which leads me to...
3. Breastfeeding. The holy grail of being the perfect mother these days. If you don't breastfeed-you are evil, selfish, etc. Yes! These are real descriptions of mothers -from other mothers about the choice not to breastfeed. I got a frantic text from a close friend just yesterday asking if it was "OK to quit." How I would have felt if I had quit. Would I ever have quit. These questions from a woman battling thrush. Yikes! The pressure. I breastfed. It was a love hate relationship-the relationship between the me that wanted to, the me that didn't want to, and the me that refused after all the pain, infections, and postpartum sobbing to give up. Do I judge others for not breastfeeding? NO! Why? Because, like me, they are mothers. We should all stick together. Lean on each other. Confide in one another. If nothing else, we should sleep soundly (yeah, right!) knowing that at least one group of people are not judging our every move. We have our mother in laws to do that. Mine is wonderful. I was only kidding.
4. Education. My daughter is in first grade. I have a degree in Education. However, for some reason-I cannot quite get this one together. I am that mom. The one that forgets the return daily folder. The one that does homework on Thursday nights or Friday mornings in the carpool line-or not at all. I don't empty or go through her backpack-ever. Do I know how important my daughters education is? Yes! Do I have time for site word practice-NO! OK-yes, but NO! Do I read with my daughter, yes. Do I listen to her read, unfortunately- yes again. Education is a toughy. I thank my lucky stars I don't socialize or count myself among a group that get on wait lists for preschool and pay college tuition type bucks for kindergarten. I wouldn't survive it. I'd get kicked out the first week-probably for not joining the PTA or burning baked goods for the bake sale or returning the return every day folder once a month. I am not judging those people-simply stating that I get enough questioning and scrutinizing for the aforementioned things. Education is very important y'all-but so is bath time and dinner and ballet, and clean laundry, and sex.
5. Birthday Parties, Sleep Overs, Play Dates, Laundry, Cooking, Cleaning, Teething, Diapering, Appointment making, Grocery Shopping, Breastfeeding/Pumping, Bathing, Singing, Dancing, Cartoon Watching, Choo Choo Train Sound Making, and more. This is just a quick summed up list of things that moms do alongside making all these huge decisions every day.
Are we going to screw up our kids? If we decide to skip a vaccine will our children get Polio, Measles, Mumps? If we decide to vaccinate, will they develop autism? Who knows. Not me. If I forget to return her folder, or feed my son fried pickles with ranch dipping sauce, are they going to die, become obese, get Polio? Are they going to be sub par human beings? I can't say. What if, God forbid, we use regular bumper pads rather than the new breathable ones? What if we let our infants sleep in our beds, or on their tummies, or in our arms, or in their car seats? What if we buckle the car seat in wrong. I'm telling you-some of these things are life or death. And all of these things are questions we face almost every day as parents. It is a tough job. No one will ever tell you otherwise. Buy hey, I am here and my mom chose the answers to all these questions. Did she have help? Yes. Did she ask for it. Sometimes. The only thing I can do for now is seek advice from other moms, talk to my husband, my mom, his mom, my grandmother, my cashier at the grocery store, or vent to my single best friend over lobster tail dinner. Because at the end of the day-we all have the same answers. Some right. Some wrong. Some in between.
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